


everything's gonna be real fine

by barelyprolific



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Episode Related, Episode: s15e22 Head Over High Heels, M/M, Unresolved Relationship Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-22 21:31:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18535870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barelyprolific/pseuds/barelyprolific
Summary: For the prompt schmico + pride.





	everything's gonna be real fine

_Pride goeth before the fall. We’ve all heard it. We all know what it means. Too much conceit, too much arrogance… and failure is inevitable. You stop paying attention, and you screw up. The full version, Proverbs 16:18, gives a little more detailed of a warning: “Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”_

_There’s a reason pride is considered one of the major vices in almost every major religion. Too much of it can cost you everything._

 

Levi winces as the door slams behind him, even though he’s the one who pulled it shut. It’s a childish move, slamming the door--his mother has always said so.

His hands shake, so he balls them into fists, closes his eyes and draws in a deep breath. Lets it out, draws in another.

Then he opens his eyes again, straightens his spine, tilts his chin up. Mouth pressed in a thin, firm line, he starts walking. Walking, not running.

He’s not running away from anything. Levi’s not letting Nico--his stupid, stubborn, _ass_ of a boyfriend--push him away. He’ll give him the space Nico obviously needs at the moment, but Levi is _going_ to comfort him, damn it.

There’s something else he has to do first, though.

The Chief is in her office, rubbing her temples as she stares down at a stack of papers about an inch tall. Levi almost feels bad for interrupting her. Then he remembers the look on Nico’s face. His resolve comes back tenfold, and Levi knocks.

“Come in,” Dr. Bailey calls, weary, although she straightens, a hint of a smile on her face, when she looks up and sees Levi. “Dr. Schmitt. What can I do for you?”

Stepping into the room, Levi closes the door behind him before he crosses to sit down across from Bailey. He looks down at his hands, fingers twisted together, and thinks, very carefully, about how to start.

“Dr. Schmitt? Is everything alright?” When he glances up at her, Bailey’s face goes soft for a moment. “Is this about the patient Dr. Kim lost earlier? Now, I know it’s a tragedy. He was a sweet boy. Unfortunately, these things happen when a doctor gets too arrogant.”

Jaw tightening, Levi reminds himself to check his tone.

“Actually, Dr. Bailey, it’s about Dr. Kim himself.”

Dr. Bailey pauses. Picks up a pen, sets it back down. Leans back in her chair, studying Levi.

“I see.”

“With all due respect, Dr. Bailey, while I don’t disagree that he needed to be there while you informed Josh’s father, I feel you allowed your personal feelings for the patient and his family to affect how you handled what happened with Dr. Kim.”

And maybe, just a little, her personal feelings for Levi, but Levi knows pointing those out would be a bad move. From the look on the Chief’s face, saying anything at all was a bad move. Still, Levi forges on.

“You are a very compassionate woman,” Bailey’s eyebrows go up, “I have seen you show undeserved grace to a lot of people, so watching you with Dr. Kim earlier--well, it seemed like there was more to it than just the fact that he made a mistake. Every surgeon in this hospital has made a mistake that cost a patient their life. I remember last year, one of your patients died due to complications from antibiotics. It was a mistake you had no way of knowing you were making.”

Licking his lips, Levi looks down at his hands. His fingers are twisted together so tightly his knuckles are white. Pulling his hands apart, he grips the arms of the chair.

“He’s never...lost a patient before that someone else wasn’t ultimately responsible for. He _is_ arrogant, but not about his skills as a surgeon. He’s careful. Ask any of the interns. Dr. Kim makes sure we know exactly what we’re doing before he allows any of us to assist. He triple checks things. Whatever happened today with Josh, he was already beating himself up over it before you and Dr. Pierce ripped into him.”

“Dr. Schmitt--” Bailey begins to interrupt. Levi pauses, gives her a questioning look, and her mouth closes again. He can’t quite read her expression, and it makes his stomach churn in a really unpleasant way. When she doesn’t say anything else, he’s grateful.

“I came in and sat down, and you asked if I was okay and comforted me over the loss of a patient that wasn’t even mine. Did you offer Dr. Kim any of that, after you informed the patient’s family? Did he get a ‘these things happen’?”

“Well, no, but--”

“If you say he’s supposed to know better, then I would like you to ask yourself this. If Jo Karev had been in his place today, how would you have treated her?”

“Dr. Schmitt, I hope you’re not implying what I think you’re implying.” There’s thunder in Dr. Bailey’s voice. Levi stands up.

“I’m _saying_ that, as my Chief, and as _my mentor_ … I know you can do better. I’ve seen it.”

“Levi!” There’s so much shock in her voice that Levi almost smiles. He’s feeling a little better, now. He feels a lot better when Dr. Bailey sighs and slowly nods.

“You’re right,” she concedes. “While I don’t think I was wrong in having Dr. Kim there when I informed the family, perhaps I was a little...harsher, than I needed to be. In my tone. For personal reasons that don’t entirely have to do with the patient.” Her voice goes softer the longer she speaks, and her eyes are warm at the end of it. “I will..find him...in the morning, and discuss the matter further.”

Levi nods. Gives Bailey a small smile. When he’s at the door, she calls his name again.

“The next time you come into my office and talk to me like this, you might not leave it with a job.”

“Well,” Levi chuckles, humorless, “I hear San Francisco’s pretty cool.”

“Wh--Dr. Schmitt! _Levi_!”

He closes the door on her protests, shoves his hands in the pockets of his lab coat, and heads to the intern locker room.    

 

The interview went well. At least, Nico thinks it went well.

He’s never ended an interview unsure before. Then again, he’s never gone into an interview having lost a patient due to a screw up before. He’s never been so distracted for an interview, either.

It’s been a day of particularly crappy firsts, and Nico knows he has not handled it well. If he closes his eyes, he can still see the wounded look on Levi’s face. Scrubbing a hand over his own, Nico wonders just what the fuck he’s going to do to fix everything. If he even should.

He’s pretty sure that any possibility of a job at Grey-Sloan Memorial has been lost to him, now. That’s how badly he’s screwed up. A kid lost his life, Nico lost the respect of his Chief, his boyfriend knows he’s just as capable of making mistakes as anyone else, and he’s not going to be able to stay because he--what?

Nico still doesn’t even know exactly what he did wrong. What the mistake was that caused Josh to die. It was the cement, yes, but Nico had been so careful when he mixed it…

Not careful enough, because Josh is dead.

Josh is dead, and it’s Nico’s fault, and Levi is probably feeling like a rug’s been pulled out from under him, and that’s Nico’s fault too.

Maybe it’s better this way. If Nico can’t stay, he’s going to break Levi’s heart either way. Wouldn’t it be better to leave with Levi hating him? It would make it easier for him to move on.

Fuck, this was not how the day was supposed to go. Nico was supposed to watch Levi sweat about the stupid interview--the interview Nico was only taking because, yeah, UCSF had been his dream when he chose ortho, and he wanted to see if he could do it, actually _get_ the job he’d always dreamed of--and then he was going to take Levi home and tell him that he wasn’t planning on going anywhere.

Nico doesn’t want to go home now. He doesn’t want to go back to an apartment that’s empty of Levi. Or worse--what if Levi’s gone and gotten all his stuff, has decided to leave Nico? It would really be the perfect fucking ending to the worst day of his life.

Just the possibility makes Nico feel squeamish.

Closing his laptop, the screen gone dark minutes earlier, Nico thinks maybe he should just crash in an on call room. In the morning, he can face consequences.

He’s just settling down on a bed to sleep when his phone chimes. The words on the screen make him falter, suck in a sharp breath.

**I hope your interview went well. Have a good night. I love you.**

Nico is pressing the call button before he’s finished thinking it through. Levi’s hello, when he answers, is wary.

“I’m an ass,” Nico blurts by way of greeting. There’s silence on the other end of the line, so long Nico starts to worry Levi hung up. Then he hears a sigh.

“You _can be_ an ass. But… I knew that going into this.” That almost sounds playful. Nico’s pretty sure his ear is playing tricks on him. He’s not sure what to say; his throat feels closed up and thick.

“You’re still the best thing that ever happened to me,” Levi continues, a little more quietly. Nico can hear sheets rustling, imagines Levi sitting up in bed, hair mussed, eyes tired. His heart aches.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts. “I messed everything up. Levi, I’m so--I didn’t--you _know_ I don’t…”

“I know you don’t.”

“I love you. I love everything about you. You’re such a strong person--”

“I _know_ , Nico. Listen, we… We’ll talk tomorrow, okay? Face to face.”

The fact that he’s not offering to come over tells Nico more than he wants it to, but he swallows. Nods before he remembers Levi can’t see it.

“Our spot?”

“Our spot.” Levi sighs. It sounds sad; Nico soaks up the noise greedily anyway. “Good night, Nico.”

“Good night, Levi. I love you.”

Nico hangs up, sets the phone aside again. Arms tucked behind his head, he stares up at the ceiling of the on call room.

If Levi still wants him, if Levi will have him… Nico thinks he’s going to marry him.

Because losing him would be the biggest mistake he could ever make.

 

_The opposite of pride, of course, is humility, so it’s no mistake that humility is one of the highest valued virtues pretty much across the board. So many people view being modest as a weakness, when in reality, that’s what takes the real strength. Knowing when to bend instead of break, knowing when to support instead of tear down. When to take a step back and realize that something isn’t about you--that’s what makes someone a good person. The kind of person you want to have in your corner. The kind of person you don’t want to lose._

_The kind of person worth giving up your pride for._


End file.
